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Behind Her Books

Book reviews, recommendations and stories of literary life.

How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right? by Pandora Sykes
Non Fiction

How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right? by Pandora Sykes

July 30, 2020

I feel like it’s a theme of my blog that I am a huge fan of The High Low, and its hosts Dolly Alderton and Pandora Sykes. It’s almost getting to the point where I look like I do PR for them. (I’ll be walking around in a sandwich board announcing new podcast episodes any day now.) Pandora has recently had her first book published so naturally, I couldn’t wait to get my mitts on it. The title of the book How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right? is an apt motto for the millennial generation (I see a slogan t-shirt coming) and this essay collection explores the questions and anxieties that pervade a modern woman’s life.

 Contemporary life is full of choices and How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right? is not a how-to guide, but rather a philosophical look at how we navigate the knottiness of it all. The essays cover zeitgeist subjects such as the wellness industry, fast fashion, cancel culture, our binge-watching tendencies, and the dread of 150 unread messages in a WhatsApp group. (Makes my insides shrivel up just to think of it.) The topics are admittedly middle-class anxieties; however, Sykes checks her privilege at the start of the book, acknowledging this and that her experience is that of a white, middle-class, well-educated woman.

 If you’re familiar with Pandora from either her podcasts or journalism, you will be pleased to hear that her writing is as clever, thoughtful and witty as you’d imagine. It’s also meticulously researched, and her musings are peppered with quotes whether from authors, pop culture, philosophers, or scientific research. This means that a wide range of voices and viewpoints are brought to the table, so you’re not just hearing one opinion. These essays feel more like a collective conversation that the author has deftly woven together to get the reader thinking.

In some sections of the essays, the narrative does become slightly more personal and we hear about Pandora’s experiences and thoughts. I loved these bits and they really shone for me. Although the citations and references are incredible and thought-provoking, by including herself into it occasionally, it added warmth and a layer of compassion. Plus, I enjoy her self-deprecating humour and superb vocabulary.

Pandora writes insightfully about topics that I am personally fascinated by and it gave me a lot of food for thought. In ‘Relentless Pleasure’, she discusses the plethora of entertainment we have at our fingertips through various streaming services, online articles, books etc. This can both be liberating and suffocating, depending on your stance. I have often proclaimed that I wish we could go back to having one episode a week and a nice yearlong gap between a series, but I predict that I am in the minority. There are some essays I had more familiarity with than others but I like that. With essay collections, in particular, I love learning about topics that I may not have given much thought to before or having my opinions challenged.

Sykes’ writing is above all curious. She doesn’t always offer answers to all the questions, which may frustrate some, but I was thinking – isn’t that the point? If there was a one-size-fits-all answer to how to live the ‘right life’… well, I don’t know about you, but that seems like a rather depressing thought. I’d much rather learn more, listen more, and choose what feels right for me, and I think that’s what this book gives you space to do.

Buy the book!

You can get a copy of How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right? here.

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Megan | Behind Her Books
Q: what books inspire you to get creative? One of Q: what books inspire you to get creative?

One of my biggest loves (and goal and fears all wrapped up in one) is writing. I'm currently doing daily writing prompts and setting aside time to write every day. It's making such a difference!

I read Big Magic years ago and I still think about it now. In it Elizabeth Gilbert discusses how to live a creative life (not just writing, any art) and how to co-exist with The Fear. I love her writing so much and found this to be a real eye opener.

Being creative can be kinda scary so I'll take any support I can get 😊

If you need writing inspiration I'm following the prompts @marian_keyes so generously provided on her IG Live series and they're great. Her advice is really kind, practical and fun! So I'd recommend you check them out.

#creativewriting #bigmagic #books #Bookstagram #inspiration
Review ✨ Fleishman Is In Trouble tells the stor Review ✨

Fleishman Is In Trouble tells the story of Toby who is recently separated from his 'workaholic' wife Rachel and navigating the NY dating scene with some sense of glee in his mid forties. Yet when Rachel doesn't pick up the kids and stops returning his texts, he starts to evaluate everything he though about their marriage

Where do I start about Fleishman Is In Trouble?

It took me about 2 weeks to read it which is quite long for me and I'll be honest I was the closest to not finishing than I have with any book for a long time (DNF I think the cool kids call it).

But, I stuck it out. Something made me persevere.

The writing is razor sharp, intelligent and angry. Boy is this book angry! It's a scathing view on marriage, the elite New York parents, sexism and families. It's full of interesting characters and the writer explores really big themes in a fresh way.

What I struggled with was the dense prose (which is common of literary fiction these days) and the odd narrative choice, which threw me a couple of times. I wanted to hear from Toby and Rachel themselves but their story was told by a friend, who would often slip into tangents.

(As an aside, the writing did make me want to find any essays or articles the author had written because I think I'd love those.)

So, you see, I have no idea. I was left feeling very mixed up after it and looking at other reviews it seems to be a marmite book! I'd love to know what anyone who read it thought?

#bookreview #bookstagram #igreads
#cardiffbloggers #bookaddict
Some glorious, mixed bag of books that I'm itching Some glorious, mixed bag of books that I'm itching to get round to. A mix of fiction and non-fiction, contemporary and older, all promising to be fabulous. Anyone else feel like they need another couple of hours in the day at the moment for reading? Wouldn't that be lovely.

This week has been busy and not helped by a naughty lil puppy who has decided to randomly start playing up in the nights 😵‍💫 lucky he's cute!

Let me know how your week is going and what books are you looking forward to reading? 💕
The longer lockdown goes on the bigger the risk my The longer lockdown goes on the bigger the risk my house will start looking like this 👀

I took this photo on my birthday maybe 5 or 6 years ago in Cofion Books in Tenby, a second hand bookshelf where the books are stacked precariously high and there's no apparent rhyme or reason, just books.

Can't wait to stumble across new bookshops again. What's the best bookshop you've found?

#bookstagram #bookshops #igbooks #indiebookshop #secondhandbooks
Thinking about the fact that I set myself a goal t Thinking about the fact that I set myself a goal to finish War and Peace this year after not managing a read along last year but it's still just next to my bed, buried under some other books.

Can someone give me motivation plz xo

Tags: #booksofig #bookstgram #classicbooks #warandpeace
Books with strong covers coz we love those pretty Books with strong covers coz we love those pretty books.

✨ Little - a fictionalised retelling of an orphan who goes on to become Madame Tussaud. A weird but good read!
✨ Rest and Be Thankful - an eerie story of a paediatric nurse who is exhausted from lack of sleep and whose creepy dreams seep into reality.
✨ The Silence of the Girls - an amazing retelling of the story of Troy from the perspective of Briseis, the former queen who is now a slave.
✨Homegoing - such a good book! This tells the stories of two half sisters who are born in 18th century Ghana and how their experiences diverge & the consequences on future generations.

Have you read any of these?
Review 💛 (That I can't believe I haven't writt Review 💛

(That I can't believe I haven't written already!)

If you know me, you'll know how much I love Dolly Alderton. (And Pandora Sykes btw. My boyfriend often reminds me I don't actually know them even though I talk as if I do. What a spoil sport.) So for some unknown reason it took me until Jan to read this Dolly's debut novel Ghosts.

Summary:
First off, it's not about actual ghosts 👻 let's just clear that up. It's actually about Nina Dean, a food writer who has just turned 32 and who has also just met Max on a dating app, who she's fallen for hook, line and sinker. Just when everything is starting to click, Max ghosts her (aka disappears out of her life without an explanation) and Nina is left to work out what went wrong and what happens next when everyone's life is moving on.

What I loved about this book is how real it felt. It's those conversations you have with your friends in the pub (remember pubs?) when you're two drinks too far into tipsy territory, it's waiting for a reply back from someone you fancy  with your heart in your mouth, it's receiving another wedding invitation. Dolly has a real talent for wrapping all those up and creating really relatable and interesting characters.

THAT TEXT EXCHANGE CHAPTER MADE ME WANT TO BE SICK. IF YOU'VE READ IT, YOU KNOW.

What surprised me was the tenderness and sadness of the parallel storyline about Nina's father and his progressing dementia. It was the perfect balance of nostalgia and frustration and heartbreak of family issues.

Dolly writes with wit, awareness and I honestly want to be her best friend.

Have you read Ghosts? I'd love to know what you thought?
Mr luvva luvva 💖 Like it or loathe it you're g Mr luvva luvva 💖

Like it or loathe it you're gonna get bombarded with some V Day content and I am here to add to the noise woot woot.

Here are some books for all sorts of love, not just the cuddly-toy heart-shaped-box oh-look-my-partner-sent-flowers-to-work-which-I-definitely-didnt-ask-for (👀) kinda love...

💕 For really gritty everyday love: An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
💕 For pure love that'll break your heart into a thousand pieces: The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller
💕 For when you're heartbroken and need a pep talk: Heartburn by Nora Ephron
💕 For celebrating platonic love and friendships: Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
💕 For teenage love and a super cute story for young and older readers alike: Heartstopper by Alice Oseman
💕 For millennial love: Exciting Times by Naiose Dolan
💕 For an order of love with philosophy on the side: Essays in Love by Alain de Bottom
💕 For the ultimate will they won't they / an ode to families making love complicated: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
💕 For a story on learning to love and accept yourself: Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams

Add your suggestions in the comments!

#books #booklove #valentinesday #booksbooksbooks #bibliophile #igbooks #instareads #bookstagram
Are you signed up for a book subscription? I've c Are you signed up for a book subscription?

I've come to the end of my three month personalised subscription from @mrbsemporium (sob) and wanted to share the gems I had selected by the their team!

As part of this subscription you answer a bunch of questions about your reading tastes, what you like or don't like and then they curate suggestions tailor made to you.

I love essay collections, fiction, female writers, and I've started getting into  magic realism so these choices were perfect for me!

This is not an ad (lolz I wish) but was a gift from my lovely bf so feel free to tag in someone you're trying to hint for gift ideas, or if you wanna treat yourself I'd say go for it. Nothing better than a suprise book landing on your doormat each month ♥️

#books #indiebookshops #bookstack #bookstagram

2020 Reading Challenge

2020 Reading Challenge
Megan has read 26 books toward her goal of 30 books.
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26 of 30 (86%)
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2 Comments

  • taylor says:
    July 30, 2020 at 10:03

    I really enjoyed this review! I’m just about finished Pandora’s book and totally agree that the little insights into her own experiences really add to her findings, as does her enviable vocabulary. I can’t even begin to imagine the amount of research that seems to have gone into it.

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    • Megan says:
      July 30, 2020 at 11:22

      I know, she must have done SO much reading! Definitely I think without that it could be quite dry but she makes it accessible.

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